A Journey of Grace

I've been reading over my journal of the last 18 months. 
I'm always thankful for when I take the time to journal my thoughts and prayers. Reading over them I can trace a pattern. The definite print of God's hand is on the last 18 months. 
I usually don't write much or explain any specific situations. I simply write what's on my heart. 
Times of frustration, times of peace, times of heartache, times of joy, times of desperation, times of rest. On their own they seem insignificant but together they show a journey of grace. A journey of God displaying His power in my weakest moments. 

This particular journal I felt like most of my prayers were answered with "wait". I was frustrated at times and sometimes wondered if it would be easier if God just said "no", then at least I could learn to accept and move on. Most of my journaling reflects my struggle with not knowing and learning to simply trust that God's plan has perfect timing. I learnt to ask for His help in the small things as well as the big things. I learnt to ask for the courage and grace I needed for a single moment as well as for my life. 

Right now I rejoice over those times of waiting. That wrestling with God which caused me to lean on Him more than I ever have before. I was brought to the end of myself and there I found God Himself waiting. 
By God's grace I've already seen some of the "immeasurably more" that He promises. I can already be thankful for the way that His plan and timing works out perfectly, far greater than I could ever imagine. 
I may not always see the "why" or receive the answer this side of eternity, but because my faith has grown and my trust in God's goodness has deepened, I know that having to lean on Him is blessing enough. Simply resting in Him is a joy that can't be fully explained unless you've had to do when your hearts in turmoil. 

The journey ahead doesn't look much easier than it did before but I've learnt that waiting has it's rewards. Sure, trials are still trials, but I know that no matter what I can still find joy, because my joy is found in Christ. 
A joy inexpressible. 


"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith -more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 
1 Peter 1:3-9